Hency Talks #7

"I am good !"

 

What is sadness? Is it about the absence of a smile on your face? Is it about that you don't crack jokes, laugh, or post funny memes all day? Absolutely not. Sadness has nothing to do with what we show to the world. Sadness is about our soul. Most sad people show off a happy life. They smile, they joke, they laugh, and they share funny things online. You look at them, and you will feel nothing wrong. And even if you ask them "Are you fine," they will just say "I am good." That's how complicated and simple sadness is. And like most things that are not visible to us, we fail to understand sadness as well. We take it as some sort of personality trait, like hey this person is always a sad soul. We don't even acknowledge that sadness is a condition and not a personality type. Nobody wants to be sad. Nobody wants to suffer that pain, daily. But we all are blamed to be sad, and this adds to the mess. In fact, this becomes more frustrating than the sadness itself, this fact that people are laughing at your pain, your sadness.

Sadness makes the uncried tears keep piling up inside. It gets so heavy that your soul yearns to burst into tears and screams. You joke more because you are scared to talk about the deep things. They tell you to be strong. So you act all strong. You hide, you fake, you ignore, and you run. You try to run so far away from the painful reality that you feel lost now. You have no clue how to start clearing this mess. You want help. But whom can you trust? You don't want to trouble your family. So you don't tell them. Your friends act all busy, so you give them space. Your lover always thinks you demand too much and overthink, so you don't bang your head on that wall. So all you are left with is you.

And that's why sadness is the most intimate emotion. You feel it in the core of your heart, on every inch of your soul. You feel sadness in your tears that slip out and those that keep dripping inside. You have felt the anxiety it brings, the breathlessness, the burning skin, the numbness. Sadness is more sad because only you know how it feels.