I overthink, and I know it. I am not normal like most people here. I am different. I am weird. I am crazy sometimes.I may even act immature and childish sometimes, and I know that. I have seen enough life to know how people are. They are so practical. They think with their brain. They make friends for needs. They are selfish about their goals. They don't feel too much. But I, I think from my heart. I care about people. I never make friends for any work or need. I always try to help people, be kind. And I am able to do all that because I have a heart that's too pure to become selfish. I have got a soul that's always looking to soothe other souls, not use them. And when you have such a heart, such a soul, then you feel things that others can't. And when you feel too much, you think too much. So much, that it becomes a part of you. It doesn't feel abnormal anymore. You know only that way to live.
So when something happens, I know that I am gonna think about it, a lot, a hell lot. At that time, I might react all cool, and like I don't care. But deep in my heart, I know that it will be on my mind for a long, long time. You know, when things matter to you, when people matter to you, then you can't leave things as they are. You can't just turn around and say, oh that's okay. I don't care this person betrayed me. Even I don't understand how people started thinking negative about me, all I have done is to make them happy and crack lame jokes at times and make them laugh, but in result I get hatred sometimes. If there's any fault of mine, do come and tell me not to the others, I will genuinely rectify and try to change myself. But this never happens, people just leave me alone, and they just seem like we have never ever shared any bond between us. I don't give a damn if I was used by this person. No. Hell no. How can it not matter to me? I gave it all my heart, all my soul. It mattered to me. It made my soul smile when it was going good. So today, when it has gone all bust, why won't my soul weep? Why won't my heart break into a million pieces? How can I not think about it the whole night? I will always be the person who will feel too much, who will think too much.
I know it's bad for me. I am not proud to be this soft, this vulnerable. But I know it's nothing to be ashamed of as well. I am proud to have a pure soul in this soulless world. But I am changing one thing. I am getting more and more choosy about people I allow in my life. So I will still be at my purest best with people, but those people will be very, very few. You have to earn my sweetness, my goodness.
Do find this relatable ? Yeah ?
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